Decisions, Decisions...

You remember E.B. White, don't you? If you don't, then I'm sure you'd remember two of his famous works entitled, "Charlotte's Web" and "Stuart Little." Well, all I have to say about him is that I despise this man. Granted, he is a good writer and created a lovely story of the friendship between a spider and a pig, the following quote that he said will make you think twice about him.

White once said that, "I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day."

Wow. Apparently this guy had too much time on his hands to say such a thing. It's like saying, "Hmmmm what should I do today? Have fun, or make the world better by putting myself out there." To me, that's kind of ego-centered, despite the fact that he is putting himself out there. I interpret that as him saying that things will be better for himself and the world when he puts himself out. I just know we will all be happy when he puts himself out there. Sorry that you can't do both pal. Either save the day or have fun with yourself and enjoy your own little world. To be saying this, White must have had too much time on his hands.

So, White has the desire to improve the world and enjoy the world. Okay. So, instead of choosing one or the other, he writes children's novels? That is really a healthy medium. I guess writing books is his enjoyment and in writing those books is improving our world one chapter at a time. More like annoying our world one chapter at a time!

What is with the last statement? "This makes it hard to plan the day." This clearly shows that he has too much time on his hands, nor does he know what to do with that time, other than write books. Fine, fine, fine, I'll let the man write, but he has so much more in him due to his great intentions such as finding enjoyment in the world while simultaneously improving it. Who knows, maybe he could have won the Nobel Peace Prize or something, possibly making a bigger difference.

Well, you (the reader) might be ticked off at my musing on White's quote. But the only thing that made me make this argument is the statement of him being "torn" and how the whole fiasco of him making choices as to what to do when he wakes up just gets to me. Sure there's uncertainty, but one would discover the answer to that uncertainty. Most likely, White's answer to this was writing those books. Fortunately, he was successful in his writing career and I congratulate him for that. His statement gives the false impression that he wants to do something big, instead does something subtle by writing to the younger reader.

As much as I disagree with his previous statement, I still respect Mr. White as a writer.
Mr. White, I Sparknoted some of your books and will probably read them someday...maybe.
Until then,
Rest in peace Mr. Elwyn Brooks White (July 11, 1899 - October 1, 1985).

P.S.
1) What kind of children's story embraces the idea of taking credit for another's work? It may have saved Wilbur's life, but it is still unethical of both Wilbur and Charlotte. Perhaps that is why Charlotte died at the end and got what was coming to her?

2) What kind of hillbilly town does this book take place in? I take it that only in the stereotypical "South" would rednecks be amazed and believe that a pig that can write in English and better yet, write it in a web. More like, "Some Spider."

A Relatively Poetic Poem

I'll make a list of things
of things I hate and see what comes out.
It may be good, it may be bad
or it could simply piss off a trout.

Who knows? Who cares?
I may not even know.
What was the point of this stanza?
There's more significance in cutting off my toe.

That fact that it rhymes
gives me a million times
to make it seem better,
though it would be more appropriate to write a letter.

Isn't this confusing?
Why is this here?
Is because I'm insane?
Or maybe I lost my brain.

I know! Let's analyze what I wrote!
That'll make poetry more fun!
Who came up with this idea?
It makes me want to run.

Poetry is great, seriously it is. I enjoy it for what it is, not so much the context of when it was written or interpreting every single meaning. I get the underlying meanings. There is no point to ask, "How does that statement make you feel?" That question is a half-ass excuse all in itself to piss away time in the classroom.

There's no value in putting a poem on a dissection table, poking through it, cutting its insides out, and evaluating every detail that lies within. It all starts with the scalpel, the teacher. To get into the poem you're dissecting, they're the only instrument you'd need to get started. Bringing poetry and stories' analyzation into the classroom does not give me an incentive to enjoy it more, nor does making it schoolwork make it any more fun that it should be.

Overanalyzation is awful. I can see why teachers teach poems etc. this way, but it is more than usually overdone. Doing this too much takes the fun and enjoyment out of reading and interpreting a poem for yourself. For your sake go read a poem or book and enjoy it!

Things I'd Rather Do...

Okay. Give me a situation that I dislike, I'll be able to counteract. In other words I'll come up with what I'd rather do and that'll be a fact!

I'd rather stare at a lava lamp for 1 hour, 43 minutes, and 12.7 seconds.
I'd rather put all my clothes on backwards, including my underwear and socks, and walk downtown looking like a moron.
I'd rather eat shit and die.
I'd rather wear my left slipper on my right foot and my right slipper on my left foot.
I'd rather eat a tube of toothpaste and drink Listerine.
I'd rather put an apostrophe where it doesn't belong.
I'd rather smell snake piss.
I'd rather have an onion fall on my head.
I'd rather eat cold Lunchables.
I'd rather blow a fart out my nose.
I'd rather walk 15 miles that way.
I'd rather eat the skin of a kiwi.
I'd rather wear a vest.
I'd rather be a metronome. (Everyone hates 'em.)
I'd rather play "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde" for the NES.
I'd rather be late for my own funeral.
I'd rather ride a plastic tricycle down the Eisenhower at 3.5 mph...blindfolded.
I'd rather have a staring contest with an owl.
I'd rather crap a crap that I've never crapped before.
I'd rather memorize all the elements in the periodic table of the elements, including the name of the element, atomic weight, symbol, number and what kind of element it is.
I'd rather go on an archaeological dig with someone who hates digging and listen to them complain about digging.
I'd rather count the threads in a 10,000 thread-counted rug and confirm if it actually has 10,000 threads.
While I'm at that, I'd rather count the blades of grass in 1 square mile.
I'd rather freeze my face.
I'd rather have a siamese twin attached to my ass.

See? There are lots of things I'd rather do. But in the end, we have to do what has to be done. Usually, there is no way away from it. If there is, that path of not doing it may seem worth taking, but doesn't work out in the end. Sometimes if it isn't dealt with, what you didn't do earlier, it could bite you in the ass. Truly, you could regret it. So...do it.

Take A Stand!

Okay. I hate it when people feel that they can walk over my face and treat me like a doormat. I try to be nice and jerks take advantage of it. People figure, hey this guy is nice, maybe I can get his answers for the homework that's due today and in this period. I'm a nice person and I'd be more than glad to help, but no, only answers are needed and I hate that. It seems that I'm only useful when I have the answers at my disposal to give...only until I say "No" in their rotten face. Then there is a sudden look of disappointment in their face, then they go look for someone else who has the problems. I think that if I give them the answers they'll talk to me - only until they're done getting the answers. Screw that.

I also hate seeing people get taken advantage of. My friend is a great one, and is more than happy to loan a dollar for someone to get on the bus or lend a stamp for a train ride, but it pisses me off to see him - or anyone - get taken advantage of. It's a load of crap and it is worse when the other person knows they are taking advantage of him/her.

To anyone. Don't get taken advantage of and don't be afraid to piss someone off by not doing them a favor that you feel goes too far.

Lyndon B. Johnson once said, "If you let a bully come in your front yard, he'll be on your porch the next day and the day after that, he'll rape your own wife in your own bed."

That's what he said. This statement is totally true. If you're nice and don't show a limit to that niceness look out for getting your ass taken advantage of. Don't let that bully in your yard. Don't get trodden on by jerks and most of all don't get screwed over by them, believe me that can happen. At times, lend a hand. But when you feel things are sorta out of line, don't be afraid to say "No" to that jerk.

I hate jerks. They're jerks!

Depth in Music

In the words of the great Gustav Mahler, "If a composer could say what he had to say in words, he would not bother trying to say it in music." This statement is too true. Words almost can't express how true those words are. Music is not only a simple rhythm, series of notes on a page, a progression of chords, a key signature, or a variety of instruments playing at the peak of their perfection. It is more than that. Much more. It's even more than words can describe. Two words in which I feel are very well associated and come close to what music is, are message and passion. Both are vital components to, what I think, successful composers and the reason as to why some music is considered great.

Music has to have some underlying message of expression through the composer. Meaning, that the composer wants to tell the audience and the musicians playing, something more than what is heard through the sound produced. Knowing the message portrayed through the piece often helps the musicians understand how to play and puts them in the mindset of the composer. This will help emulate not only the composer's message, but gives the musicians a common ground that they can relate with the composer. As a musician I like to know the reason as to why a piece was written. If something sounds sad in a piece, then why so sad? Did someone close to the composer die? Was it just a rough time for them in general? If a piece is jovial or strong in nature, did that composer accomplish something prior to writing that specific piece? These are some of the questions that entice me to play music.

This interest came about when a quartet of mine was playing Smetana's first string quartet. The piece is morbid and at the same time displays beauty and conflict. Our instructor wanted us to look up his life for this specific reason as to why it sounded this way. It turns out that the poor guy wrote this towards the end of his life, before dying of syphilis and suffering a bad case of tinnitus. Tinnitus is a disease of having a constant high pitched sound in your ear, similar as to the idea that when people's ears "burn" they are talked about in conversation. Imagine that sound louder and constant in your head. This was enough evidence to me as to why he wrote the piece. One other piece of interest the composer can put in music is sounds he or she can hear. Smetana amazingly did this. He put the pitch of what he heard from his tinnitus into the music, as a climax point. Listening to it now and having played it last year, I still find it amazing that he was able to do that. From this, I guess one could conclude that music helps people deal with their problems as well as acknowledging something bad or good in their life.

Music also is comprised of passion alongside with the composer's message. The two almost go together when described in music. Passion is close to reason, but is different from it as well. Passion is more. It is the desire for creating or composing music. The want, need, and undying cause for this desire is the composer's passion. Passion also is attributed to the musicians making the music the composer made. As stated earlier, the musicians playing need to understand the composer's message so that they can relate to what the composer wrote about. Again, whether it be something happy or sad. Having this ability to relate to the composer's message separates a musician from a great musician.

Both ideas of a message and passion in music, literally, go hand-in-hand. They hold hands while moving through the score of the music, dwelling in every whole note, accent, dynamic, 32nd note run, chord, lyric, crescendo, decrescendo, quarter note rest, key change, you name it, all the way to the double bar at the end of the piece. It may even affect us after the double bar. A piece's message may remind us of an event in our life that we won't forget, or even remind us of memories we want to forget. Therefore, effecting us even after the double bar.

Music is a persistent component in our lives, affecting us, motivating us, making us think. Mahler was right. In the end, words can't reach the same amount of emotive expression music can recreate.

Hopefully my words explained my thoughts well enough on this topic, but obviously not as well as music would.

Ironic, Isn't It?

Wow. I have one question to address. Why do people feel so compelled to point out irony? Seriously, is it necessary? When people point out irony they have this look of overwhelming confidence on their face as if they conquered the world. Well congratulations! You showed them! Shoving the fact that someone's statement is ironic in that person's face is plain stupid. I noticed that sometimes whoever points out certain irony, is one who has nothing else to say or contribute to the conversation. By that, I mean, that is all they say. "That's ironic." or "Ironic, isn't it?" At times, I feel just as compelled to say something as dumb as they did such as, "Your face is ironic." That'll show them, just as much as pointing out the irony.
Ironic? No. Sarcastic? No. Coincidence? No. Sheer stupidity? Yes.

Before I go any further, I feel the need to give a definition of the word irony. According to "The Merriam-Webster Dictionary" irony is defined as follows:
Irony-n- The use of words to express something other than and especially the opposite of the literal meaning.
Learn it!

If people follow this concise definition of irony, they would not exacerbate their stupidity by pointing out sarcasm when it is clearly a situation of irony.*

*Yes, I realize that it is ironic that I am promoting someone to point out irony instead of pointing out what they think is irony.

What I love about people pointing out irony is when they point it out, they mistake the supposed irony for pure coincidence or even sarcasm. Believe it or not, this still happens. All I can do is shake my head "no" and leave it because clearly, this new "thing" of pointing out irony won't end. I didn't know it was damn near possible to confuse irony with sarcasm. That's what I like to call, over analyzation. Just don't look into the situation too close with your nose pressed up against it, like a kid looking through the glass of a candy store.

I must be crazy that I'm annoyed by this but, my whole spiel in short is to not point out irony. It's aggravating and can make you look desperate for attention.

Omg Texts

Alright. People may disagree with me on this one, but that's okay. Shit happens. Texts are the epitome of a crappy excuse to not make a decent phone call. To me, they lie on the shelf of annoyance right in between improper apostrophe use and the sheer stupidity of using the letter "z" to display the plural form of a noun or nounz. So, texts are simply annoying. Or should I say, "Txts r smply annoyn." I believe that it's less annoying to call the individual rather than text. It takes longer, at least on my phone, due to the fact that the keypad is small for my somewhat wide fingers. Pardon me that a Blackberry isn't my first choice for a phone, nor would I invest in purchasing one to make my life easier with distributing texts or emails. A phone is supposed to only make calls! Why all the added crap? Besides if you are going to send emails on your phone...I have one word: pathetic. I'm sorry but you need to send that email, that prompt, that fast, that instant? That bad? Really? You sure? Okay.
Then get your ass to a computer!

Again, going to my point of WHAT is the point? There are three main reasons as to why texts serve no purpose in this life or the next. There is one and only one purpose as to why text messaging was designed. It is as a scam for cellphone companies (Verizon, AT&T, etc.) to charge parents up the ass with this waste-of-time way of messaging so that their kids will be deemed as "cool" in school...lol that rhymes.

Sure, one may get to the point just by putting in the text something like, "going to the party?". But I really think it's more courteous to make the call. This is applicable especially when one gets a text such as, "Are you ok?". If you want to know how things are with a person, one should just make the call...not give the person a chance to literally spell out their problems through a text message. Geez.

It's one thing just sending the text, but at most times, it's deciphering the stupid thing. At times, I receive a text and I have to decode it. That's the core reason as to why texts are annoying. Take the previous example of "Are you ok?". Sure, that's what the sender means, but what the receiver sees is "R u k?" sometimes without the damn question mark, man that pisses me off. When I read a message, I would greatly appreciate the easy flow of eye movement from left to right while reading. Similarly as how you are reading this blog, any book, email, newspaper, magazine, or even the "missing child" description on the back of a milk carton.

Just imagine if I spontaneously wrote this as if it were a text, or should I write txt? I'll have at it. This ought to yield good results.
Hlo. Isnt ths lts of fun gr8 lol. Btw txtng is gr8 I <3>:o no u. <@:) 8-) omgwtfbbq sup yo :) ;) :D an apl a dy keps dr awy lmao how r u. nub omg wtf ? ! :o :p r u havg fn? dis enuf? dnt thnk so...u suk dis is fn. gg. myb c u l8r? whr? idk...stuff. ? idk...? o i c... stuf...ya...omg crzy brb
bord. k stp.

U c? I prv mai pnt. Gr8 xampl rt? 2 cmplx 2 undrstd. jst wrt out stmnt. Dnt b laz.

Over my years of study of the native language, I have deciphered what is conveyed through the correspondence.
Rough translation : You see? I prove my point. Great example right? Too complex to understand. Just write out statement. Don't be lazy.
While reading a text, I don't want to feel like Thomas Young translating the Rosetta Stone...

The last time I used a text I wanted to put down "hah" instead of the usual "lol". Well, the ingenious use of the keypad displayed its failure since it didn't pick up on the second time I pressed on the 4 button, which displays the letters: g,h and i. So what I sent was "Hag". That was the end of my texting career. I realize it is an epic fail on my part since I didn't read what I sent but hey, just shows how that mistake would never have happened if a phone call was made.
All I have left to text is "omgwtfbbq" to that situation.

Btw...we should eliminate texts and bring back good 'ol telegrams.

Apostrophes

I'd just like to say that the improper use of apostrophes drives me mad. What is the problem with using them correctly? It isn't rocket science, people. There are so many ways I've seen them out of place. I have the three top instances wherein they are used out of context and even where the noun displays no possession whatsoever. For your enjoyment, here they are...

1) Math teachers... When he/she or she/he (however you prefer) assigns a certain amount of problems for homework, they say, "I want you to do numbers 15-23 for homework tonight." That is no problem. On the contrary, they write on the board "do #'s 15-23." WHAT ON EARTH? Is there any form of possession shown in there? How does one spell "#'s" in context of the above statement written on the board? Last time I checked...n...u...m...b...e...r...s. There is NO possession in there whatsoever. So why use that darn apostrophe? Besides, look at it! The apostrophe knows that it's out of place, even between those quotation marks! Moving on...

2) Okay, here is another instance wherein the apostrophe is incorrectly used. Seeing the poor apostrophe used when discussing dates, kills me. An example of this is in a sentence such as the following. "The 60's were a time of change." Alright. Simply, this says "Of the sixties were a time of change."No, no, no, repeated no. The apostrophe goes behind the 6 in this case. So that the statement will look like, "The '60s were a time of change." NOT 60's or 1960's...

3) So, my third and final experience of poor apostrophe use. This happened in a science class of mine. The teacher made a powerpoint on environmental issues. The teacher got to the point of why dams should be conserved. The teacher says to the class, "Now we'll talk about the conservation of dams." The screen, however, revealed the heinous grammar mistake. Prepare yourself. At the click of a button the screen revealed, "The conservation of damn's." Holy crap! I nearly died. Not only a swear was on the screen but a double possessive noun! That mistake was inconceivable to me. Some good that came out of it was at least the apostrophe was before the "s".

Hopefully I'm not the only one with the issue concerning apostrophes.
They're great! Use them well!